Baseball Notes: Juan Uribe Minute

Sunday, Juan Uribe found himself in a bit of a pickle when he managed to misplay a 106 mph grounder at third base for the Indians. He found himself unable to get up off the dirt as it resulted in a testicular contusion that caused such discomfort that he had to be taken off the field on a gurney.

As serious as the video of the injury seems... aside from his laughing teammates... Uribe seemed to be in good spirits by Monday as he had a few things to say to (or around) Indians beat reporter Jordan Bastian. There was a bit of mystery around this injury because it's pretty common, practically mandatory, that infielders, especially playing the hot corner, protect themselves from hot shots like this by wearing cups. Bastian had the breaking news from Uribe, "Asked why he doesn't use a cup, he said: "I don't think the trainers have my size."

Uribe missed batting practice monday and expanded to Bastian on the extent of his injury by saying "I don't think I'll have any more babies." This got me wondering if Uribe has had a chance to have many babies before the injury, and this thought led me to the personal tab of his wikipedia page. Never fear, "Uribe and his wife Ana have four children: Juan Luis, Juanny, Janny, and Johanny." This is a bit on the level of Johnny Carson's first three wives Joan, Joanne, and Joanna (I think he figured out why the marriages failed. His widow is named Alexis), or a certain boxer who never forget's his children's names.

The true tragedy is that Uribe will never get to have the next eight children he already has names planned for: June, Jaun, Juno, George, George Junior, George Foreman, George Foreman, and Georgetta. At least he doesn't have an embarassing name like Rougned Odor (nick name "Stink, Stinky or Roogie") or his brother Rougned or his uncle Rouglas.

At least he wasn't like Josias Manzanillo, either. I believe after I heard about his story I went out and bought a cup.

For my Indians overview from earlier in the season, click here.

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