Revenge

Earlier today I watched Return of the Jedi (1983).

Before this viewing, I kind of forgot what happened in this movie. I had memories of bits and pieces from the last time I saw it not too long ago. There's the Jaba the Hut sequence, Luke fights Vader and turns him back to the light side, and ewoks. Surely there had to be something more to it? Not really. It's fun to get another chapter of Leia, Luke and Han which is the bulk of the capitol of the movie, and it was all I needed while growing up.

Today I noticed a couple song related changes from the original version of the movie (or at least the iteration from the '90's VHS release). The first was one that had been glaring ever since George Lucas "fixed" the original movies in the '90's when there is a strange musical sequence at Jaba's palace. I know a lot of the things that happen in the visuals of the song happened in earlier cuts of the movie, but are cut into a terrible song in an alien language.

Yet... The very end of the movie replaces out a song I vividly remember as being an odd choice. It sounded like the ewoks were singing "Leia, Luke and Han!" It was something that I refused to think, in my kid-brain, that they were really just singing the names of the three main characters. The new version has score music and there is the addition of shots from around The Empire of people celebrating the Ewok and Luke victory.

Now to the main event, the Star Wars theory I forgot to write about for The Empire Strikes Back:

Luke and Leia fly too close to a black hole. This would explain why Anikin and Obiwan have aged 30 or 40 years and Luke and Leia have aged around 20. Yoda also transitions in the time between the prequals from flipping and jumping four to five times his height to dying of old age. Additionally, Yoda, an 800 year old green guy ages drastically in 20 to 25 years. That would be the equivalent of an 80 year old dying of old age 2 years after doing backflips.

That would be an odd development if Yoda, Anikin's wrinkled grandfather head and Obiwan had aged the same number of years as Luke and Leia. But they haven't. The theory here is that when Luke and Leia were born and flying around to be hidden, they took a few short cuts to avoid being in view of Anikin and along the way they flew too close to a black hole. They Interstellared it and when they got back Jessica Chastain, Yoda, Obiwan and the whole gang of the universe had aged ten to twenty years. And that's how people get old.

I was also made aware that there is a theory that the Ewoks ate the caracasses of the fallen Stormtroopers on Endor. I understand this is a theory that has been going around for a while supported by the events of the Ewoks planning to cook and eat Luke and Han and the scene of an Ewok playing with empty Stormtrooper helmets with no Stormtrooper bodies in sight. It's an interesting theory and I'm on board for the Ewoks having a dark side of their own.

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