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Star Wars Crazy

And I also saw...

The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

There is so much to say about Star Wars in general. My memories go back to watching VHS's at my friend Steve's house as we spent our weekends together through all of elementary school and middle school. I think we would see bits at a time because there were a few details I didn't pick up on until later viewings. I was a few years until I noticed Luke's hand was cut off at the end of this movie, and I probably thought there were 6 movies worth of stories in the original trilogy. This is why I like the new movie so much and I like the idea of different theories around the new movies although I just don't buy too many of them, and I don't buy into the personalities complaining about plot holes. So here, just for fun, I have a couple theories that clean up a few things in the Star Wars movies.

1. Storm Troopers are better shots than it seems.

I don't like the idea that the villains in Star Wars are not skilled at fighting or shooting so I like to imagine the reason why they always seem to miss the protagonists is becuase they are protected by the force which is acting even when Luke doesn't realize he's controling it. Additionally, Leia seems to have a little force magic in her as she is able to receive messages from Luke through Obiwan. She just doesn't seem to understand the capabilities she has until she uses it to find Luke at the end of The Empire Strikes Back to pick him up below Cloud City.

I liked this theory until I realized it doesn't seem to work all the time. It especially doesn't seem to work when Luke is flying x-wings or snow speeders because if he's flying with someone else, R2-D2 or Dak (his gunner) they seem to get a heavy dose of laser.

2. Secret Jedi Master

This is my favorite theory and I haven't seen it elsewhere. This one applies to The Force Awakens. In this theory Rey has been dropped off on her "home planet" the desert planet by the Jedi school Luke set up. I don't think she's related to him, just one of the students at his school, who also included Kylo Ren.

She was dropped off because Kylo went crazy and filled with the darkside, and she was a younger pupil new to the school. Kylo started to turn to the dark side after learning about the force in an environment where the Jedi students gain a sense of entitlement because of their elevated status. It gets to his head that he is special and that he should be treated that way. Anakin also turned dark while being trained in a metropolis where Jedis were revered as religious figures with an impact on government. The Jedi school realized Luke's training in the modesty of the swamp with Yoda kept him grounded and kept him on the light side.

So, as the school fell to pieces and Luke lit out to live in Ireland, the students were stashed around the galaxy and their mentors, their Jedi Masters giving them training, did so in disguise, even to the pupils. Rey was being trained on her desert planet learning to be optimistic in a trying environment, teaching her to hustle for food by seeking out scrap metals, learning android and alien languages from passersby in the outpost, and making the world her training grounds. She learned to use a bow staff to protect herself in the desert and to use it to parkour her way through a fallen star destroyer.

But who was training her? Unkar Plutt, of course. The Simon Pegg portrayed alien who gave her food for scrap metal. He would give her assignments, creating adversities for her to overcome and build her up through positive reinforcement of food rations. Sure he's a little harsh in his tone, but so was Yoda when he pretended to just be a wierd alien trying to take Luke's things from him proclaiming "mine!"

3. Bad Obiwan

This is the theory I like the least. Obiwan is Snoke. There is a theory that Obiwan killed Luke's aunt and uncle to get him to leave the planet at the begining of episode IV, and to expand on that widely circulated theory, what if he was doing that so that he could expose Luke to Vader so that Vader can be aware to follow the millenium falcon through out the next three movies so he can try to turn Luke to the Dark Side. Perhaps Obiwan is trying to maintain balance in the force because he sees Luke's sister Leia entrenched on the light side when he sees the message from her on R2-D2. When he finally sees that Vader and Luke have made contact by being in eachother's eye-line Obiwan pulls a magic trick. He does a David Copperfield style illusion of disappearing as Vader swings at him in their lightsaber match. We never see his body fall, we just see his cloat go limp. Perhaps he created the illusion for Luke to get angry at Vader to draw out the dark side in him. Then he hid out on the death star for a bit and left before its destruction. Over the next 30 years he worked in secret to swoop in during the power vacuum of the fall of the empire to install himself as the Supreme Leader, a badly scarred and extremely aged man-thing.

I don't really care for this theory. I don't buy into the theory that he killed Luke's aunt and uncle and I don't think Disney will ever decide to make a villain out of a martyr.


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